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barkon started this conversation
This is horrible and ungrateful to God but I am so ready to die. If I had the money, I would pay someone to do it. They have won. I have tried and tried to forgive, tried and tried to understand, tried and tried to get back up, but I can't and I am miserable and I just want to never feel this way again or everything be so hard. It was not God''s plan for me to have a good family this go round. No one knows what it is like to not be loved by your folks till they are not loved by their family.Ya da Ya da family of choice. SOmething is wrong with me that makes me so sad and alone. I wish only for peace and for finality. They can have the ego win. It dies not matter any more. I am pleasing to no one in this world.
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Anonymous40784
aww...sweetie,

Try to find a friendly church. Let them love you & make friends.
We do not get to choose our biological family but we can choose our 'friend' family.
There is always hope for better times as long as we are alive.
We must hold on & hang in there during the painful times to get to the 'goodtimes'.
If you want someone to talk to, I'm here for you.
Talk to Anonymous40784
ricardog
Hmm, interesting on how you are looking at your life. Dieing is not the answer. You must learn to live.

Sometimes in life you have go deep down or hit bottom in order to come back up and live a full life. If you are hating yourself, family, friends, job, where you live, people around you, then you just have failing down. That is a good thing. Because the only way now is up!

So, pick yourself up and start all over again. Sometime you have to do that once, sometime you have to do that 100 times. But each time you will feel good about yourself and that is the true key to living.

So I hope you take some advice and listen to what I'm trying to tell you. But remember that you are the only one in your life that can make the change. So do it. Life with worth it.
Talk to ricardog